Unattended Mailbox

When confronted with a situation where less than stellar news has to be related, I often subscribe to a philosophy of ripping of the bandaid. The quicker you get something off your chest the better.

I found this to be a consistent approach of mine, even in my efforts to cope with the recent loss of my father.

Although he died suddenly, nothing could have prepared me for a loss of this magnitude. My father, or Daddy as I still call him even in my twenties, was, and will continue posthumously, to be my best friend. We enjoyed each other. Whether I needed some comic relief or serious advice, I always relied on him to give me a mix of both.

My Daddy was not finished with me when he passed. Our conversation was not over.

The day he died I started writing in a journal in an attempt to process my pain and reconcile my thoughts. It was not until after we buried him that I began writing him letters in this journal. Letters that would have been the dialog of our daily chats. Letters inherently written to an unattended mailbox are what I use to continue our conversation.

I love you Daddy.

Edit Her

So long...so good? That is the question du jour.

I have been noticeably absent from readholla.com for the past several weeks, er, months. Paramount to any reasons behind my inactivity, would be the reason for my return, my mom.

You must first understand my relationship with my parents to fully understand why.

My dad is my best friend. My mom is my number one critic, and, my number one fan.

Although this dynamic remains intact, my parents have been out-of-pocket travelling South America and beyond since mid-March. How could I possibly blog without the words of encouragement, or constructive criticism, I have grown so accustomed to relying on from my mother?

I chose not to.

Fortunately, this morning marked their safe return. And, while I will miss receiving post cards from Antarctica, I will be most obliged to know that as I blog my mother and personal editor will be reading my thoughts.

Stranger Things Have Happened

When I was quite little I would always say thank you when automatic doors would open for me. Hey, I may not have fully understood the mechanics of an automatic door yet, but I knew to mind my manners.

Establishing that I have a history of going above and beyond when it comes to "door opening etiquette", I find it troubling how often people take this and other common courtesies for granted. Forget about just saying thank you, people these days go so far as to get aggravated when someone does not hold a door open for them, as if it were a requirement.

So the next time you are the recipient of a kind gesture, even in the case of an automatic door if you wish, acknowledge the courtesy with a thank you...minding your manners is always appropriate and goes a long way.

27 Minutes...

Technology in a word: cool...two words: very cool. Admittedly easy to say as a baby of the '80s.

Enter my grandparents...just a couple of kids in their 80s.

Although they are not the most tech savvy duo, they have always had cool gadgets. To their benefit, they have a doting granddaughter willing to teach them how to use them.

Over the years, I have color-coded remotes with stickers, optimized audio output of various equipment, and, a favorite of my grandfather's, programmed in-car garage door openers.

One day I received a phone call from my grandparents. They had recently been given a progressive scan DVD player as well as several choice DVDs that they were excited to watch with my great aunt and uncle. My Grandfather asked, "LIZ. We are trying to watch this movie. How do we do it?"

What a loaded question.

At the time I was away in college and could only help them by phone. First I assembled my team. My great aunt would put the the DVD in the player. My grandfather (keeper of all remotes) would stay on the phone for instructions on buttons to push. My grandmother would keep the flashlight steadily focused on the remote control. And, my great uncle would watch the screen for visual progress.

27 minutes later...roughly the amount of time spent buying popcorn and watching previews in the movie theater...voilà! The DVD menu was successfully navigated, and the feature film began for their viewing pleasure.

Lesson learned. If four 80 somethings want to watch a DVD, it requires the instruction of one twenty-something, a line of communication, a flashlight for vision assistance, and a mere 27 minutes.

A Thousand Words...

...give or take for this picture and post.

Just because I buy them does not mean that I am a fan of guidebooks.

Here is why.

Before you even pack your bags, you have likely been saving for several months for that trip to Mexico or Europe or China. There was a reason you chose your destination and you have already mentally arrived there in your daydreams of sipping margaritas on a beach in Mexico, admiring the creativity of Gaudi in Spain or hiking the Great Wall of China.

With no known plans of visiting space in the future, I knew before my plane even took off for Beijing that my best chance to see the Great Wall of China was at wheels down.

I was not disappointed. I made it to MuTianYu at the Great Wall and was filled with a nervous anticipation as I rode the cable car up. As I looked out in the picture above I asked myself who else might have stood in the exact same spot? And how long ago? Could they have even dreamed so many visitors would frequent their posts one day? I could venture to guess, but the answers were not important.

There is an element of accidental tourism in even the best intended itineraries. Instead of focusing on details Fodor deemed necessary, I chose to soak in my surroundings and make new memories on a structure dating back to BC dates. Without question, no guidebook could have prepared me for the majestic grace of a wall predicated on defending dynasties. I think life has a way of guiding you if you let it...and the best part is it doesn't cost a dime.

At A Loss..

The imposition of a loss can be many things.

The loss of a tooth when you are little means a temporary space in your mouth. Yet, after a visit from the tooth fairy, typically nets a profitable return under a pillow.

The loss of a job creates a curious identity struggling to cope with unintended consequences...yet, in time, leads down a new path to self discovery.

The loss of a loved one, if not several, is inevitable. Yet there comes a sense of esteem in having been connected to one another in your lifetime.

The way I process loss?

I think of a baby gripping ever so tightly a parent's hand. As moments pass the baby learns at his or her own pace how to let go. It is this innately human quality, our loss of dependence, that makes us grow and gain strength in the confidence of our experience to survive.

"It's not what you say...

...it's what you aren't saying."

This is one of the best perils of wisdom I can offer.

First point to note, this does not refer to body language, although you should always be conscious of someones demeanor, this applies strictly to dialogue.

Let's use a scenario everyone over the age of 12 has confronted , a friend queries, "Do I look fat in this?". Our friend has made more flattering fashion choices and being the honest friend you are, you respond: "No! But, why not try this instead?". I think we all know what you did not say here..."Yes, actually it does make you look fat."

The sequence of events above was a straight forward application of this approach. I find it most insightful to employ this method when trying to understand what a politician is really saying, which is no easy task. Politicians are the masters of glazing over topics with endless chatter even your favorite pundit can't navigate. But, once you accept that reality, if you listen closely to what a politician is not saying the next time you see them campaign for office - and they are campaigning everyday they are an elected official - you might just find some answers!

InsureRants

Health Insurance vs. Health Care

Health care is an issue on everyone's mind. For good reason. It is an emotionally charged topic of concern for anyone that has a pulse.

Unfortunately, in this country we do not have a health care system, we have a health insurance system.

I would argue that this is the problem with health care in the United States.

To illustrate my point lets think about when you purchase a car. First you establish the amount you are able to spend. With your budget in hand, you take your list of desired specifications, perhaps a sun roof or low mileage or leather seats, to a car dealership and begin your search. You make your selection and then proceed to shop around for car insurance.

Maybe you have a clean driving record and qualify for low rates. Maybe your driving record is less than stellar and you pay a higher premium. Whatever the cost, you get the car and coverage you need. When it comes to health care this is not the case.

Using this analogy, equate a pre-existing condition to a less than stellar driving record. A health insurer's ability to provide coverage minus this condition, would be like Geico saying to you we will sell you car insurance, but will not cover any accidents. Alternatively, equate a healthy person to someone with a spotless driving record. Health insurers are citing this sector, seen in California right now, as the driving force behind their escalating premiums, which in my eyes would be like Geico blaming people who do not own cars for raising rates.

Bottom line, health insurance agencies should not be able to dictate the type of health care you receive. We need to turn our health insurance system into a health care system, where as with car insurance, we get the health care coverage we pay for and need.

holla@me with your thoughts...

I Get So Emotional

Blame it on the BlackBerry or iPhone or laptop...these days the bulk of my conversations take place without uttering a single word.

There is a convenience that comes from shooting a quick text, "running a few minutes late" or "send me the address". But sometimes a "happy birthday" text doesn't pack the necessary punch required by such a sentiment.

Enter emoticons.
life

Anyone that interacts with me knows that I am a big fan of smileys and a bigger fan of the emoticon...especially at work.

Why do I love them so much?

Easy, the same reason people like photos with a caption. It brings words to life. To me emoticons add a touch of my personality to my words, abbreviations and acronyms.

Here are some favorites:

Mash ups and downs

Music is a major component of my life. I would feel more naked without my iPod than clothes.

One of my guilty music pleasures for a while now are mash-ups. Mash-ups, referred to by several terms, have existed since music began being recorded. There are mash-ups for everyone. And, when done right, a mash-up transforms music from more than one source into a seemless blend that gets you moving. Check out a snippet of one of my favorites, "Drop It Like Its Hendrix", on the bottom of the side bar to the right.

I can appreciate a clever mash-up even if I don't particularly care for the selected tracks. It is a talent to have an ear to make these things work. DJ Earworm is a nice way to introduce this type of music to your life - the United State of Pop 2009 is your average mash-up turned exceptional.

Unfortunately, no genre is perfect and many mash-ups miss the mark. Visit the music mashup charts site and you be the judge.

For those of you that still have questions about what a mash-up is, I defer to Sue Teller. She breathes new life into mash-ups in the video below.

Must Have Travel Candle

TOKYOMILK No. 18: Sparrow

Over the years I have contributed far too much money to the candle industry, albeit with pleasure. A candle can set a tone, heighten a mood and, in a pinch, provide emergency lighting.

As a long time connoisseur of candles, I am always on the lookout for new finds. On a recent trip to a nearby boutique I came across Sparrow No. 18 By TOKYOMILK.

Perhaps what makes it so special and worth writing about is the fact it is gender neutural. Neroli always complements citrus and in the case of this candle brings in scents of greens, that temper the gardenia and rosewood.

If this pick isn't for you check out the TOKYOMILK website for other great options - something on there should tickle your fancy.

Macho Men?

Male Figure Skating

Okay here's the thing...I respect everyone that gets to a place of Olympic status. Slap a medal on that olympian and you got your picture on a Wheaties box...on a side note, do people still eat Wheaties? IDK.

I digress.

Moving on, I just returned home and am eager to witness the top 3 male figure skaters battle it out for the gold. Because I care a great deal about male figure skating? Nope. I want to see if the male figure skating macho movement referenced in an ABC Evening News segment months ago has come to fruition.

My guess...nope.

But who cares?

The glitter costumes add another form of self-expression rarely available to men in everyday life.

And let's get real...Evan Lysacek is majorly sexy, in a macho way.

Bond Girl # 9

Bryant Park

I believe in fragrance wardrobes...after all, you don't wear the same clothes everyday, so why wear the same fragrance?

That said, I do believe in a signature scent.

I have had a passion for perfume since I was tall enough to reach my mother's stash. I used to collect miniature bottles of my favorites...true story, but a step above collecting stamps in my book.

I flirted with several different scents before I settled on my signature scent of Bond No. 9's Bryant Park. Pictured is the Limited Edition Swarovski Stars Bryant Park.

The only complaint I have is I wish it was named after a different part of New York! Apart from that, I can find no flaws with notes like: Lily of the Valley, rhubarb, pink pepper, rose, patchouli, raspberry, amber.

In a word: YUM!

Mean Shoe Game

GIUSEPPE ZANOTTI

The lesson I learned from Cinderella?

Someday my prince will come? No.

One shoe can change your life? Yes.

Sex and the City fans love Manolo Blahnik and Jimmy Choo, but if I had to choose a favorite shoe designer, Giuseppe Zanotti gets my vote every time.

Giuseppe Zanotti is an artist who knows his craft. With a creative vision like his I would argue that he deserves every penny of the price tags placed on his shoes. He has a shoe for every personality, purpose and mood.

And do not be afraid of the steep incline, he has a way of making the seemingly soaring heights of his pumps fit like a glove that you never want to take off.

Try a pair...who knows they could change your life!

It's Our Anniversary

JOBS

Promises running on empty?

It is worth noting that I will neglect to recognize political party attempts to capitalize on an unprecedented effort to rescue a super power's economic viability. The stimulus was and is an experiment. Though we can hypothesize results only time will dictate a real conclusion.

On the one year anniversary of the ARRA, or the stimulus, it seems appropriate to reflect on what a difference a year makes...

Rewind to about two years ago in Lorain, Ohio. Obama made a campaign promise to pay for job programs by cutting spending elsewhere and to create jobs in "a responsible way, without adding to the already obscene debt."

In the first quarter of 2008 when the country was still riding an economic high this seemed like a step in the right direction. Fast forward two years later to a time where the US is riddled with debt and soaring unemployment rates this promise became a necessary course of action...right?

Not exactly.

At its conception the CBO (primary congressional agency charged with reviewing congressional budgets and other legislative initiatives with budgetary implications) estimated the ARRA would increase the 2009 deficit by $185 billion, the 2010 deficit by $399 billion, and the 2011 deficit by $134 billion.

Putting the financial implications of the legislation aside, we could rest assured that the job creation and revitalization of our economy would be a worthwhile return.

I am not so sure.

This week the administration is sprawling the country in an effort to convince Americans that the stimulus is helping. However, more and more it seems that the rhetoric has shifted from job creation to a stimulus of job salvation. It could be equated to a bad boyfriend, in this instance Obama, trying to pool resources to win back the affections of a scorned loved one, in this instance a country, once so captivated by his charms, in this instance his promises.